thestoryofsarah

November 7, 2011

End of a Relationship

I think the hardest thing to give up on in life is a relationship. I’m not just talking about a romantic relationship, I mean a work relationship, friendship, any type of relationship where you have interaction with another human being who is a major part of your life. I am recently trying to deal with the end of a very important friendship, and no matter how hard I try to pound it into my head, I just can’t bring myself to admit it’s over.

We have been best friends for years, we’ve been through so much together, and suddenly, it’s over. This friend has been there for me through break ups, and I for them. This friend has laughed with me on the long drives home from high school years ago, and even though I moved away, we still had a bond, and a friendship, that I thought couldn’t be broken. Even through the multiple relationships we’ve both been in in the last 8 years, since we became friends, we’ve always been there for each other. I don’t know what changed.

I’ve tried multiple times to reach out to this friend recently, to no avail. All I can keep thinking is, did I do something wrong? We haven’t had a huge fight, there was no falling out, our friendship just stopped. And you know what really sucks? Knowing that you care about a relationship more than the other person. Knowing that no matter how hard you try to maintain a friendship there’s nothing you can do. And I don’t like giving up, but I think I really need to. All this “friendship” does is hurt my feelings and drive me crazy. Sometimes, you have to give up on something. And that doesn’t make me a quitter, it makes me realistic. And as much as it hurts, I have officially given up on my best friend. And it does hurt, and it makes me want to cry, but I’ll move on. Just like in a break up, it’ll suck, and I’ll miss him, but I know I’m better off not wasting my time and energy on someone who doesn’t value me as much as I value them.

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June 20, 2011

Judgement

Filed under: Judgement,Life — by Sarah H @ 10:28 pm
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I try not to think about it, but I think I’m judgmental. I watch people and the decisions they make and I judge them. And I think how I would do things differently. And I think about how I’m better for my choices. And then I stop, and I realize I’m doing it and it makes me upset at myself. Who am I to say that someone else’s life decisions aren’t correct? Lord knows I’ve made a ton of mistakes, made the wrong decision a time or 2. The worst part is, I don’t only do this about strangers, I do this about friends. And it makes me sick. Who am I to judge? I wish I didn’t do this. A lot of the time, I like to convince myself that it’s in their best interest. I like to tell myself that the reason I think these things is because I know what’s best. But I don’t. Again, who am I to think that I know anything more than anyone else. Starting today, I am going to make a conscious effort to stop judging. Until I walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, how should I know what is really going on and if maybe, just because I wouldn’t make the same choice, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.

June 14, 2011

Too Boring for a Blog

Filed under: First Post,Life — by Sarah H @ 7:31 pm
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I’ve always thought I was too boring to write a blog. That my words would hold no interest for anyone reading. Today, after many friends have suggested I try it, I have finally conceded. I, Sarah-Too-Boring-For-A-Blog, will now write a blog. So this is my life. These are my feelings. These are my thoughts. I’m a very non-confrontational person, so this may sometimes be where I vent about things I refuse to tackle head on in my real life. But this is The Story of Sarah.

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