thestoryofsarah

December 16, 2011

Week 2: Random thoughts that cross my mind…

Filed under: Me — by Sarah H @ 3:29 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So, first thing’s first: WE GOT THE APARTMENT!! We’re signing the lease tomorrow and will be moving in January 1st! I’m so excited to start this new part of my life, but can’t help but be a little nervous. What if P discovers he actually can’t stand to be around me? What if something happens and 1 of us is unable to work? What if a hurricane/tornado/earthquake/tsunami/etc comes?!?! Ok, so I’m a little bit of a worrier…

I think it’s the control freak in me, I hate the unknown. You should see my planner, it’s color coded and planned to every second of my life, This definitely eases my anxiety about the unknown. (Side note: I’ve always wanted someone to throw me a surprise party, but with my inability to give up control of things, noone has ever had the ability because I end up planning something for my birthday before anyone has time to plan anything for me.)

But, the real point of my blog today, is little things/thoughts that cross my mind, that I think of for blog posts, but don’t think I have enough to write about to make it a full fledged post. I’ve seen a few other bloggers do this, so I’ve been inspired.

1. I think it would be so romantic to be someone’s one-that-got-away: I don’t know, maybe it’s all the romantic comedies I watched growing up, but there’s something about knowing that in the end, you were the good one and someone let you go that I find very tragic and romantic…though, now that I read that back, maybe it’s more vindictive and self satisfying than romantic…

2. You have to let go of who you were, to discover who you are: Oh, this one is DEEEEP! I tried writing a blog about the person I used to be vs the person I am now, but it got very rambly and I felt like I really didn’t have much of a body or point. I like this thought though, in order to grow, you have to let go of who you used to be. I used to be very spoiled and selfish, and it took really hurting someone who didn’t deserve it to change me to the type of person I am today. I grew, because I forgave myself for being young, and stupid, and selfish. I’m not proud of the type of person I used to be, but without that experience, who’s to say I’d be who I am today?

3. By the time I get my bachelors degree, there are people who I went to high school with who will be getting their doctorate: This one just depresses me. I wish I had a time machine and could go back in time and slap 18/19/20 year old Sarah and tell herĀ  “Just get it done! Just go to school! Stop wasting time and money!!!”. I can’t go back though, and regretting it doesn’t make it go away. I just have to stick with it and get it done this time around!

Those are the ones for now, I know there are more, but I can’t seem to think of them at this time. What do you think? Are any of those snippets worth writing a whole post about? Tell me in the comments!(Ok, so I saw this on someone’s blog, apparently, if you put the word comment in your blog, you’re more likely to get comments…who knew? And also, who studies this stuff??)

Thanks for reading! Shout out to Robert for being my 1 religious reader! Really appreciate it and your comments!

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July 11, 2011

That dirty, 4 letter word.

Filed under: family,Growing Up,Life,Money — by Sarah H @ 10:20 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

I have a dirty, 4 letter word that I just can’t bring myself to say. Just thinking about this word, makes me shudder and want to run away(Ha, didn’t mean to rhyme there. I’m a poet). This 4 letter word brings a sour taste to my mouth.

The word, and I can’t believe I’m about to type it here, is HELP.

I’ve never been good at asking for help in any sort of situation. I don’t know why, but it’s hard for me to do. I try to solve situations all by myself, I don’t really ask for advice, and when something gets really tough, I just ignore it.

I have recently been very scared about my financial situation. I have this thing called a credit card problem. When I was younger, I didn’t believe that credit cards were real money and would constantly charge things I couldn’t afford. Fast forward to 4 years later, I’m still paying on a lot of the purchases I made. I’m a big believer in the theory: If you ignore a problem long enough, it will eventually go away. While using this solid and foolproof(sarcasm) method for as long I’ve had the credit card issue, I had finally reached my drowning point. I finally had to utter that dirty word. I asked for help. My dad has known for awhile that I have a substantial bit of credit card debt and about once a month, he asks me if he can help me. Up until last month, I would always tell him I was fine and brush off the subject, uncomfortable to talk about a situation I find incredibly embarrassing because it’s my own damn fault. Well, when the monthly question came about in June, I finally broke down and cried.

And I finally told him the extent of my financial dilemma.

And I finally asked for help.

I was so worried that he would be ashamed and be upset, but he just hugged me and told me it would be ok. It would work out, and he’d help me come up with a plan.

After finally admitting I had a problem, and that I needed *shudder* help, the second great thing happened: I got a raise and a promotion. I felt amazing about this because when I accepted I had a problem, and finally asked for that dirty 4 letter word, I received it. I realized I am not weak for having to ask for help, I am finally strong for being able to ask for help. Help is not a dirty word, it’s a word that is necessary in life. It’s ok to break down and ask for help. I don’t know if I will make this a habit, but I will definitely consider it a solution to my problems more often.

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