thestoryofsarah

December 16, 2011

Week 2: Random thoughts that cross my mind…

Filed under: Me — by Sarah H @ 3:29 pm
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So, first thing’s first: WE GOT THE APARTMENT!! We’re signing the lease tomorrow and will be moving in January 1st! I’m so excited to start this new part of my life, but can’t help but be a little nervous. What if P discovers he actually can’t stand to be around me? What if something happens and 1 of us is unable to work? What if a hurricane/tornado/earthquake/tsunami/etc comes?!?! Ok, so I’m a little bit of a worrier…

I think it’s the control freak in me, I hate the unknown. You should see my planner, it’s color coded and planned to every second of my life, This definitely eases my anxiety about the unknown. (Side note: I’ve always wanted someone to throw me a surprise party, but with my inability to give up control of things, noone has ever had the ability because I end up planning something for my birthday before anyone has time to plan anything for me.)

But, the real point of my blog today, is little things/thoughts that cross my mind, that I think of for blog posts, but don’t think I have enough to write about to make it a full fledged post. I’ve seen a few other bloggers do this, so I’ve been inspired.

1. I think it would be so romantic to be someone’s one-that-got-away: I don’t know, maybe it’s all the romantic comedies I watched growing up, but there’s something about knowing that in the end, you were the good one and someone let you go that I find very tragic and romantic…though, now that I read that back, maybe it’s more vindictive and self satisfying than romantic…

2. You have to let go of who you were, to discover who you are: Oh, this one is DEEEEP! I tried writing a blog about the person I used to be vs the person I am now, but it got very rambly and I felt like I really didn’t have much of a body or point. I like this thought though, in order to grow, you have to let go of who you used to be. I used to be very spoiled and selfish, and it took really hurting someone who didn’t deserve it to change me to the type of person I am today. I grew, because I forgave myself for being young, and stupid, and selfish. I’m not proud of the type of person I used to be, but without that experience, who’s to say I’d be who I am today?

3. By the time I get my bachelors degree, there are people who I went to high school with who will be getting their doctorate: This one just depresses me. I wish I had a time machine and could go back in time and slap 18/19/20 year old Sarah and tell her  “Just get it done! Just go to school! Stop wasting time and money!!!”. I can’t go back though, and regretting it doesn’t make it go away. I just have to stick with it and get it done this time around!

Those are the ones for now, I know there are more, but I can’t seem to think of them at this time. What do you think? Are any of those snippets worth writing a whole post about? Tell me in the comments!(Ok, so I saw this on someone’s blog, apparently, if you put the word comment in your blog, you’re more likely to get comments…who knew? And also, who studies this stuff??)

Thanks for reading! Shout out to Robert for being my 1 religious reader! Really appreciate it and your comments!

June 17, 2011

Creativity

Filed under: Creativity,Poetry — by Sarah H @ 3:40 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I used to write a lot. I would have a line of poetry floating in my head and it would swirl and swirl until I just had to write it down. And I would keep writing until I had a poem in front of me. Something that had taken life on paper and become a finished product.  I also used to paint. I was never very good, but when I was very upset about something, I would get the urge to paint. So I would, and by the time I was finished, I felt better and usually couldn’t even remember what I was upset about to begin with. I can’t really pinpoint when I stopped getting these creative bursts, but I miss them. That’s a big reason I decided to begin a blog. I’m hoping that by writing more regularly about my everyday life, I’ll get the urge to write creatively again or at least bring back some of the creativity I miss so much.

I went through and read my whole LiveJournal from high school the other night. It made me laugh to read all the things that were so important when I was 16, it’s funny to think about how much I’ve changed. It did make me miss a lot of things. How close and accessible everyone was in high school, all your best friends being within 5 minutes of you. How simple everything in my life was(This is definitely decided in retrospect. At the time, I felt everyday there was a new crisis. I was a very dramatic teenager). This is often where I would write down my poetry, I went through and read all the poems I wrote then. Granted, not all of them are winners, but there were a few that I couldn’t believe I had written them. I will leave you with one of my favorite poems that I have written. Hopefully, this whole blogging thing will get me writing or painting again.

Masks

I wear a mask of courage, I wear a mask of hope,

I wear all of these masks, so that I will stay afloat.

Floating in a sea of darkness, I feel that I will drown,

So the mask I wear the most, is the one without a frown.

Some people, they don’t like me, but I know they wear masks too,

Everyone has their masks. Everyone, even you.

So now the mask will come off, the mask that hides my pain,

And you will see something that I will try to explain.

For you see, I know not who I am, only what others want me to be,

So no more masks to hide my face, from now on I will be me.

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